"I just had the best idea."
"You know how most animals poop out blobs or tubes or little pellets?"
"I’m going to make this wombat poop different."
"I’m going to make it poop cubes!”
"That way the poops won’t roll away when the wombat uses them to mark its territory.”
"I think you’ve finally lost it."
"It’s called ‘innovation,’ my friend."
"So, a few months ago, I recorded a "vintage" version of Macklemore’s "Thrift Shop" with my group, Postmodern Jukebox. Then, French Electro Swing DJs Bart & Baker heard it and decided to remix it in a modern Electro Swing setting. In doing so, they created a modern version of my old-timey version of a modern song about wearing old-timey clothes to modern public gatherings. We’ve now come full circle; this is mind-blowingly awesome to me."
Casual reminder that in one of Leonardo da Vinci’s many notebooks containing innumerable artistic and scientific sketches and notes of incomprehensible important, there is a sketch of two penises with legs and tails walking towards a crudely drawn anus.
The sketch was most likely done by Leonardo’s apprentice Salai, who was not only very likely one of Leonardo’s lovers, but who was also infamously mischievous. Better yet, the anus is literally labeled “Salai.”
So either Salai drew these while Leonardo wasn’t looking just to annoy his boyfriend, or Leonardo himself put actual time and energy into drawing these. Either way, the human race is truly blessed to have made such a discovery.
There are dick drawings like the ones you see on desks in school in Leonardo da Vinci’s notebooks. Please cherish this information.
Run Shadowfax, show us the meaning of haste!
wow I didn’t know fuckin chocolate eggs were gendered
OKAY LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT THE FUCKING PINK EGGS.
I work at a concession stand in an ice rink. We sell a bunch of chocolate bars and snacks and shit including Kinder Surprise eggs.
So one day this woman comes up to the counter with her two little kids, a girl who’s probably about 6 or 7 and a little boy, maybe 3 or 4. The mom asks what they want, the little girl points at the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if she wanted the white or the pink egg. She said pink. The little boy pointed to the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if he wanted the white or the pink egg. He said pink. HOLY SHIT IT WAS LIKE I OPENED THE GATES OF HELL. The mom absolutely FLIPPED and was like “YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE PINK EGG IT’S ONLY FOR GIRLS. YOU CAN GET THE WHITE ONE OR NOTHING AT ALL”. The little boy looked at his mom and said “But I want the same as ______ (whatever the sister’s name was)”. The mom completely ignored him and turned to me and gave me a death glare. “He can have the white egg.”
I had to give a little boy a white egg when he wanted the pink so that he could be the same as his big sister and he started crying. The mom just reiterated that the pink egg was for girls and told him that boys don’t cry.
And this is why we shouldn’t gender fucking chocolate eggs.
Ich muss beim Windows 7 Startup Sound an den Admiral von Knorkator denken.